


Cabin Fever

by TaxicabKanefessions



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 15:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21273362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaxicabKanefessions/pseuds/TaxicabKanefessions
Summary: Beelzebub and Michael are trapped in a cabin during a snow storm. And maybe, just maybe, Michael's been hoping to get into a situation like this for a long time.





	Cabin Fever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mx_vertiginous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mx_vertiginous/gifts).

> Based (loosely) on the prompt:
> 
> In a dark, dark wood there was a dark, dark house and in that dark, dark house I think we should get drunk and fool around. (I want dirt under my fingernails.)

“You could miracle us out of here at any time.”

“So could you.”

Beelzebub clucked zir tongue and curled up a bit more to try and keep out the chill. “Helping an angel isn’t in my job description.”

“You say that as if helping demons is in mine," Michael replied.

"With how much you chatted Ligur up, I just assumed it was."

“Everything I did was for Heaven’s benefit,” they insisted, firmly. When Beelzebub snorted, they turned to the window to focus on the snow continued to pile up much faster than expected. They were set to stay in that position the rest of their confinement.

Or, at least, that had been the plan before they saw how Beelzebub’s shivering intensified. Demon’s bodies had adjusted considerably to handle hellfire, which left few of them adept at handling cold . But Beelzebub seemed to be bad to the point of pathetic (were ze not who ze was).

Still…

Michael took a seat next to zem, miracled a blanket, and wrapped it around them both.

Beelzebub jumped and tried to pull away. "What are you…?!?"

"There'll be trouble for both of us if you freeze and discorporate," Michael explained in the tone of someone very used to being immediately obeyed. "So just sit."

Beelzebub would have pointed out that Michael could have made a heated blanket and left zem alone. They’d knowingly, and defensively, chosen to use body heat. But that would have brought up that Beelzebub could have created one as well. This also wasn't the worst thing ever, ze supposed, so ze just settled in with a pout.

“This whole thing was a terrible idea,” Michael said as they moved a bit closer.

“Then you should have quashed it when your side came up with it,” ze pointed out, and used air quotes to add, “Hell doesn’t go in for ‘team-building exercises’.”

“Gabriel’s idea,” Michael corrected. "They thought, since we're going to be working together now…"

“I got that, but Gabriel doesn’t  _ have  _ ideas,” Beelzebub countered. “They follow orders, that’s their job. So who told them to do this?”

“God only knows,” Michael said, rather literally. “Same with why we ended up with both a bad map and a snow storm.”

“Sounds like something God would do.” Ze shrugged. “She’s not really a fan of mine, and She knows none of us are made for the cold.”

Michael looked over with the mildest concern they could convey. "Will the rest of your side be all right? It’s quite the storm."

"If they had their feet on solid ground, they would have descended the second the snow started." Ze stomped zir foot for emphasis. "Can't do it indoors, or I would be with them right now."

"Well, we’re in the same boat. I can’t ascend through a roof. I don't exactly know why."

"God knows.” Ze received a look that ze ignored. “Of course, we could always get around it by stabbing each other and discorporating. It would probably be better for our reputations."

Michael weighed it. "That would certainly work… but then we'd have to get out of the blanket and do an additional mountain of paperwork. I propose we just never mention this to anyone.”   
“Fair enough.” Ze tucked in a bit closer. After a while of listening to the howl of the wind outside, ze said, “You wear perfume.”

“I do,” Michael admitted after some hesitation, and quickly added, “It’s not a vanity thing, you understand. This is simply to blend in with humans.”

“I thought angels weren’t supposed to lie.” A smirk almost teased at zir lips.

“‘I’m not, I just…” They thought they had a reply, but it stuck in their throat.

Ze nudged them. “You like it.”

Michael looked almost sick. " _ Like _ is a rather strong word for it."

Beelzebub’s eyes rolled. Ze focused on the other side of the cabin as ze sighed irritably. “Angels are so exhausting.”

“Stop it.”

“No, really.” Ze leaned closer in the most outwardly irritable way ze could. “You can’t admit you enjoy anything, you can’t take credit for your own plans… You almost make me glad I didn’t have to become an angel again.”

“That’s assuming you would have won.”

“And assuming you would have lost, I think you would have enjoyed being a demon.” Beelzebub glanced back over. “I’m serious. You could indulge in… anything at all without feeling so blessed guilty.”

“It’s not like we’re completely forbidden from indulging,” Michael told zem, hastily. “Gabriel has their jogging, Aziraphale has his books and food and… Well he’s a bad angel, but he certainly hasn’t fallen.”

“And you have your spy games, then?”

“I have other things,” they insisted far more forcefully than intended. “Like the perfume, and…”

“And?”

Michael looked away. Their face had gone red, absolutely a reaction to the cold and nothing else, but it was still best to hide it from an opportunist like Beelzebub. “And maybe I sometimes think unangelic things. But I’ve never acted on them, so it’s certainly not--”

Their face was turned back forcefully, and Beelzebub held them in place to press their lips together. Michael, for all their shock, wasn’t the one to pull away even when Beelzebub lingered there a bit too long.

“Things like that?”

It took a moment for Michael to collect themselves, close their mouth, and nod.

“Did you like it?”

Another achingly long moment passed before they could bring themselves to nod again.

“We could keep going if you want,” Beelzebub said, with zir eyes inviting and head tilted just slightly. “Would keep us warm.”

“It would,” Michael said. Their shoulders relaxed considerably as they leaned in and clumsily returned the kiss.

Beelzebub guided them into something much more comfortable. The blanket stayed wrapped around them, miraculously, as both let it go to pull the other closer.

Michael had certainly seen humans do things like this over the centuries. And they had wondered what it must have been like, but at the same time they were sure no human had ever had an experience like this. They weren't sure if one could become intoxicated by the taste of brimstone, for one, but they wouldn't doubt for a second that it was possible because-

There was noise from outside, and the temperature of the cabin rose as hellfire melted the surrounding snow.

In an instant, Beelzebub had stood up and miracled the blanket away. When the door swung open they looked properly bored and dignified, while Michael was left stunned on the floor.

"Took you long enough," ze said as ze brushed past the demon who'd been sent free zem. Ze also brushed past Uriel, though more carefully to give wide berth to the flaming sword she held. 

Uriel watched the two demons sink into the Earth, and then turned back to Michael. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Michael said as they stood and brushed their suit off. "I'm just fine."

"It looks like something happened."

"Nothing happened," Michael said, quickly and forcefully. "And it's not coming up again. Clear?"

Uriel raised an eyebrow, and gave them a long look over before she sheathed her sword. "Let's get back, then."

Michael followed behind with a million ideas swirling in their head. The only thing that was concrete was that, no matter how open Heaven and Hell became, Michael was going to keep a back channel open.


End file.
